expectations..

Posts : 202 Join date : 2012-01-15

Everyday, yes.. everyday I think of my life as a big failure..

I fail in each every aspect, and am I already loosing fate?..

I guess even in having faith I still fail..

why can't I live to their expectations..

then why do people only think of things that can make.. them happy..

even if this leads to hurting the ones near to them..

then why does it hurt me so much?..

I ask my self ... why is it that hard to do the right thing...

why is it so hard.. to even care..

failures in life perhaps, are just lapses that test your strength to go on..

but then again where ?

where do i get the strength to live their expectations..

when I got hold of this..

I realize.. am I not good enough..

am I wasting my time and effort to live the dreams that are not even mine?

this bitter feeling of regret, it haunts me..

even in my dreams they haunt.. but why?..

does anyone even care of what I am going through ..

I feel the agony and frustration.. it eats up all my courage to continue..

is this the starting line where I start to hate who I am?..

what can I do to stop this ?...

yet no one cares..

they only talk about your misfortunes and short comings..

is this anger? is this hate?..

then why can't I feel their suffering..

thus feel mine...

why do I suffer and not them?..

I guess I am not even worthy of happiness..

I guess I am not even worthy of having this piece of card

that show's all my hard work..

I guess I am not worthy of all the thanks and praise from all those patients..

I guess I am not what I think I am..

maybe they are right .. maybe..

I am worthless...

just airing out some thoughts...sorry for the sudden sad post..
I just felt you guys would understand...

Subject: Re: expectations.. Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:48 am

OMG..Chloe, we are here for you...dont worry. You are not worthless by any means, dont worry. And you dont have to live up to nobody's expectations except your own.
You deserve happiness by any means. If the people around you dont see that or dont care, remember..we do. You have friends here ! We will always support you in anything. Chikara is also a family, remember.
What happened?

Posts : 202 Join date : 2012-01-15

SeptimReborn wrote:: OMG..Chloe, we are here for you...dont worry. You are not worthless by any means, dont worry. And you dont have to live up to nobody's expectations except your own.
You deserve happiness by any means. If the people around you dont see that or dont care, remember..we do. You have friends here ! We will always support you in anything. Chikara is also a family, remember.
What happened?

septi...

im so tired...

Subject: Re: expectations.. Sat Feb 04, 2012 11:34 am

I do not know why you are unhappy but I myself have had hard times and felt that I was not worth anything and that all I wanted was for it to stop. I even suffered from depressions, eating disorders and anxiety disorder. But believe me, there will be better times again and it is those times that are worth fighting for. Never give up, because you deserve to be happy! And if it is too much to take do not hesitate to talk to a professional. Many people are afraid to talk to a psychologist or think it is not for them because you are supposed to have an mental disorder if you take their help. That is NOT TRUE. Everyone feels bad sometimes and many need someone to tell them and ask them the right things to feel better.

So remember two things, and this is important for everyone.

Never give up on yourself, you deserve to be happy!
And
Do not be afraid to seek help if you need it, it makes it much easier to handle.

Subject: Re: expectations.. Sat Feb 04, 2012 12:05 pm

xXxChloexXx wrote:

SeptimReborn wrote:: OMG..Chloe, we are here for you...dont worry. You are not worthless by any means, dont worry. And you dont have to live up to nobody's expectations except your own.
You deserve happiness by any means. If the people around you dont see that or dont care, remember..we do. You have friends here ! We will always support you in anything. Chikara is also a family, remember.
What happened?

septi...

im so tired...

Tired of what?

Posts : 202 Join date : 2012-01-15

im sorry thnx for your time septi....

Posts : 202 Join date : 2012-01-15

Ranien wrote:: I do not know why you are unhappy but I myself have had hard times and felt that I was not worth anything and that all I wanted was for it to stop. I even suffered from depressions, eating disorders and anxiety disorder. But believe me, there will be better times again and it is those times that are worth fighting for. Never give up, because you deserve to be happy! And if it is too much to take do not hesitate to talk to a professional. Many people are afraid to talk to a psychologist or think it is not for them because you are supposed to have an mental disorder if you take their help. That is NOT TRUE. Everyone feels bad sometimes and many need someone to tell them and ask them the right things to feel better.

So remember two things, and this is important for everyone.

Never give up on yourself, you deserve to be happy!
And
Do not be afraid to seek help if you need it, it makes it much easier to handle.

... I really don't know what to do anymore.. I think im to depressed already..

Subject: Re: expectations.. Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:08 am

Chloe if i may, what you are saying is that you feel worthless,but that is a part of your life

To feel sadness is to live...but as long as you are alive, the future is a blank page. Therefore you can still change your life for the better you may think you have no talents but you are unintentionally closing yourself out of the potential you seek or allowing yourself to adapt to circumstance. You are being very cryptic on us.

As Septimreborn put it, we are a family you have no excuse to close yourself to people whom obviously care and wish to help you. Do not sew any more seeds of depression we are here to help uproot the depression that is in you.

it is your choice to allow us to help you get over your sadness, or you can stay miserable.

Subject: Re: expectations.. Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:49 am

Chloe, you are in control of your own life.
...So why are you letting others command it? It is only your expectations and wishes you need to fulfill. If you think you are depressed, you are depressed. If you think you are happy, you are.
Get in control! Now! Fight the darkness that is depressing you!
If you ever need help, you have friends here, too. You are not alone.

Subject: Re: expectations.. Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:40 pm

Precisely, you are not on your own here. But despite that the best advise I can give you to feel better is to talk to a professional too. It may be awkward at first but it really helps. They have helped many and know how to. I know it saved my life.

Posts : 239 Join date : 2012-01-15 Age : 32 Location : USA

u got any hobbies besides playing videos games..

that always works lol to make me happy when im depressed

Subject: Re: expectations.. Mon Feb 06, 2012 11:51 am

Chloe...find a real boyfriend, maybe?

Posts : 202 Join date : 2012-01-15

SeptimReborn wrote:: Chloe...find a real boyfriend, maybe?

septi your a very weird guy..

and thnx for the advice meO.. ill try to find other things to make me happy ,,, hmm... i like anime though ill just watch anime..i guess onion02

Subject: Re: expectations.. Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:26 am

xXxChloexXx wrote:

SeptimReborn wrote:: Chloe...find a real boyfriend, maybe?

septi your a very weird guy..

and thnx for the advice meO.. ill try to find other things to make me happy ,,, hmm... i like anime though ill just watch anime..i guess onion02

Cold......i just wanted you to find love...
And do watch anime, its fun onion16

May i suggest Fairy Tail, One Piece or Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon.

Subject: Re: expectations.. Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:59 pm

i watch anime too when in a brooding and sad state

though what i watch is kind of different.

I usually watch anime that does not take itself seriously

Anything that does not make a lot of sense really.

but, it is good you are at least doing something to pass through your woes chloe.

and septim........a boyfriend is the last thing she needs right about now.

Subject: Re: expectations.. Wed Feb 08, 2012 4:23 pm

Sevan wrote:: i watch anime too when in a brooding and sad state

though what i watch is kind of different.

I usually watch anime that does not take itself seriously

Anything that does not make a lot of sense really.

but, it is good you are at least doing something to pass through your woes chloe.

and septim........a boyfriend is the last thing she needs right about now.

Its not me that is weird. It is you humans that are weird onion10